Love was always cruel.

Look what I found.

this tumblr

used to remind me of my last biggest mistake. when i looked at it i got nauseous and scared of myself, but i think i’m going to try and change that now.

8 months ago

I wanted to say something when wolfy(wolfie?) left you. I couldn’t decide which was worse, contacting you or not saying anything. I’ve decided you probably don’t care any more about me and i can’t stand you thinking that i just didn’t care. I’m so very sorry. I’m sorry he’s gone and i’m sorry for my contribution to what must have been a very difficult time in your life. I think about your letter sometimes and how i maybe wish i hadn’t muted you so you’d have heard how hard i cried, maybe then you’d know that i didn’t just toss you aside, that it wasn’t easy. And i’m sorry if all this text does is stir things up, but i am so sorry and hoping that things are well for you. I mean it. And i hope you’ve found someone better than me and more deserving of your smile to be your valentine. Okay, i won’t bother you again, i hope your parents and brother and sister and doug are well, goodbye.

new austin from class.

I feel like alot of guys would want to treat you like a goddess…

You are super intimidating

Not to make things awkward but you’re brilliant and beautiful and funny and you’re outspoken

Which are +’s

Just intimidating lol

Well those are the cliff notes

darek. november 2011.

“Wow I was literally about to text you the same thing. I really enjoyed meeting you as well. I would love to meet up with you tonight if you are going out”

“And not to sound gay, but the thought of you has put a smile on my face this whole trip and made the drive a breeze.”

“BTW, you are clearly something special because you have been on my mind all day. I’m not trying to flatter you, it’s just put me in a cheery and somewhat giddy mood.”

leann 2/10/11.

“RE:|Im thinking of you. Your a wonderful person and I know good things will come your way. You deserve to be happy and loved by someone very special.”

12/8/10.

“Baby i’m so fucking sick of being like this. We want the same things! We just want to be together and be mutually happy and dependent on each other. I have to imagine that you want me to be as happy as i can be, and i want it to in order to maximize my potential contribution to your happiness. If i can somehow manage to convince you, to show you that you just have to take a chance and believe that i desire being only yours, that i will not hurt you again, and that i am not only sorry for everything i have ever done to hurt you, but no amount of forgiveness, no matter how easily or difficultly obtained, will ever lead me to take this for granted. Can i show you that the key is the same it has always been? To just close your eyes and fall and see if i catch you. Shower me in love and everything you adore about me and laugh at my flaws as they are so meek when trying to dent the magnitude of your love for me and then watch me, your star, absorb and reflect that love. Watch me keep you safe against all evil. Watch me return that love in the magnificent way you know that i can when i am given your unconditional love. Watch me watch you. Watch us fill each other with something no one can take. Watch: i will be the best thing you ever came across as you have been for me. We will be the idea of love and the envy of the world and as the different evils and temptations of the world attempt to twist our views and fracture our bond, the hand of those attempts will be made to feel small as it finds our bond unbreakable. Unbreakable because you know what i know, that i want nothing but you as surely as you know you want me. You will always just KNOW with unwavering confidence. You just have to believe.”

11/12/11.

“That was really crazy! Sorry i didn’t know how to act, lol my heart started pounding really fast. Hope all is well, good see to you for that brief glimpse!”

HA.